Friday, February 24, 2017

It's raining bird shit (though I wish it were men)

As if it wasn't established already, but I'm complete and total mess, and now this city seems to be mirroring that. Why the hell is the river rainbow colored? I mean, I get the name but whoever did this is seriously twisted. It's like as soon as I get my life together I've thrown the universe out of whack, and something else has to take my place. Apparently the toxic sludge has been oozing out of the river and contaminating the plants. So I guess it won't be long until we're all crazy, at least I'll finally fit in. For some reason I'm still thinking about Hal, we've only met once and my thoughts are already consumed by him, which I can't let happen. I refuse to let him into my head and go psycho, so I'm going to forget him, or at least that's what I'll tell myself for now. My thoughts of Hal were halted by the giant glob of bird crap that fell from the sky splattering onto my freshly washed hair and dry cleaned shirt. "You've got to be kidding me?" But then another drop falls onto my face, and another... I look up to see the dark cloud approaching, a swarm of brightly colored Parakeets. Oh holy hell, all the sudden it starts pouring bird crap everywhere. For some reason I just stand there in the midst of chaos. Everyone is screaming around me and running for cover, and yet my feet remain firmly planted on the ground. I start hysterically laughing, which quickly turns into tears as I realize I'm destined for shit luck, which must mirror my dating life, and spirals into me thinking I'll be forever alone. I snap myself out of the dark, sad, and pitiful state I'm in and process that I'm still standing in the middle of a hailstorm of bird shit, and I need to take cover. This stuff could make me horrendously sick, which would be just my luck...

I take cover in Connie’s Coffee Shop, however, I realize I'm still covered in bird crap so I go to the bathroom to clean myself up, and then decide to order a coffee. The store is packed because so many people had the same idea to take shelter in the tiny coffee shop. I can barely move. I get lost in thought again thinking about Hal as I search for somewhere to sit. I see a tiny little chair in the very front of the shop. I figure I could watch chaos continue while drinking my coffee, and start to walk over to the chair. My mind wanders back to Hal, and as I'm walking I trip over a woman's bag. My body crashes onto the floor, and coffee spills everywhere. I lay there face down. I feel the embarrassment rise onto my cheeks. I'm profusely sweating as I do in uncomfortable situations and frantically look for a napkin, anything to clean this mess up. I'm so embarrassed I can't even think straight and reach for what I thought to be someone handing me a napkin, but I'm confused when I realize I'm scrubbing the floor with a white flower. I look up to see Hal's face, his charming white smile is no longer there as a look of confusion and sadness appear. I don't know what to say, the words are stuck in my throat, as I try to form an apology. My face resembles the color of a tomato now, as I look at him. He runs out of the store crying, and I realize that I have just made a big mistake.